Job Opening: Labor Coach needed around the middle of December, 42 hrs. max, must know breathing and relaxation techniques, be able to stay awake, make life for laboring mother more comfortable, massage therapy skills, ability to stay focused and calm. Last night Ryan and I finished our final Lamaze class. At the end we had a mock delivery going through each of the stages of labor to test all the variations in relaxation and breathing techniques as the pains of labor progress. I think Ryan's cold may have had something to do with his inablity to focus or help, but as a team, we failed miserably I'm afraid. He admitted that his mind was focused on something else, of which I won't mention. Anyway, after last night I have real reason to be concerned.

A special friend of mine likes to use the phrase "mere moments". I was reflecting about the things in life that are just mere moments away.

1. our final Lamaze class tonight- Joni is bringing doughnuts
   


2. Halloween featuring Sarah, the 1 1/2 year-oldWitch, or as she pronounces it, "B--ch"


3. the first good snow


4. baby showers


5. Carrie's wedding


6. birthdays for the happy couple & countless other friends and family


7. anniversary for the happy couple


8. Thanksgiving in New Mexico


9. Savior of the World production


10. Lights at temple square


11. Christmas shopping


12. Neighbor gifts (aghhh!)


13. the birthing of baby Loveless

...and all this in just 2 months

NAMELESS LOVELESS

Baby Loveless is scheduled to arrive two months from today, on December 24th, yes that is Christmas Eve. The child is still nameless and would appreciate any suggestions given to his parents.

Ryan got a deer Saturday morning at about 8:30. Not bad for opening day. I have no idea what I am going to do with all the meat. I don't even think I like deer meat, but Ryan is having it all butchered up as we speak. Jerky I can handle--I don't know about the rest.

On our way home from Sunday dinner in Tooele last night, we saw more than one deer head propped up out of the back of more than one truck and Ryan came face to face with a startling realization. Deer hunting is such a redneck thing to do. Jeff and I both concurred as Ryan sat there, coming to terms with who he really is. We both think it's rediculous how grown men prop there deer heads up out of the back of the truck so that everyone they pass can view their freshly killled trophies. It's kind of like something else I've been trying to figure out-- Why do people in small towns like Rexburg, Idaho drive around with their dirt bikes, four wheelers, snowmachines, and wave runners in the back of their trucks? I understand if they are actually going out to play, but they aren't. It can be the middle of July and you will undoubtedly see a truck parked in the WalMart parking lot with a snowmachine in the back? I don't get it. Maybe I should make all these egos a sign to wear that says, "I just shot a big deer" or "I am in debt up to my ears but I have big toys...and a truck". Of all people, I should understand the nature of the redneck ways...but this one is still a mystery to me.

Another Cougar Victory this weekend BYU 52, UNLV 7. I usually don't pay too much attention to all the "show your game ticket and claim your prize" announcements that occur during the games, but during the first quarter of the game, I might have caught one that could be of some worth. Usually they are giving away something at the concessions or Carl's Jr., but I swear I heard the announcer say that for every point the Cougars scored on Saturday, the BYU bookstore was matching $1.00 off an i-Pod! What? That's $52 off an i-Pod, an i-Pod that someone might want for Christmas! However, they never made the announcement again. Perhaps they were realizing they should have picked a different game to offer such a discount. Well, I'm taking every advantage of the bookstore if indeed it's true. And I'll be listening to all those announcements a little more closely now.

I need to take a moment to post something that is long overdo. I realize that many of my faithful blog viewers are already familiar with the beautiful woman to the left, but for those of you who are not, let me introduce you to my friend Michelle. This morning Ryan and I had somewhat of a late start to work and with the construction on 1600 N. & 800 N. in Orem, I was a tad bit late getting to work. But what did I find at sitting by the door of my office?--a cute little package from Miss Michelle, complete with homemade gingersnaps wrapped in cellophane w/ a coordinating fall ribbon and a note. I know she was to work before the sun came up and she finds time to drive up to Orem and make a little delivery. All this from the same woman who manages a business, has her own on the side, is getting her MBA right now, runs several miles every morning, does flowers for weddings and BYU events (ps-this is homecoming week), oh, and she manages to fit in throwing baby showers and offers her interior design skills to bachelors. Did I mention that she does some photo shoots when she has a spare minute? She is always ready, camera on hand. Everyone should have a friend like Miss Virtue. Thanks Michelle, you made my day.

Counting Down (No, this isn't our baby--I have no idea whose baby this is. But isn't it amazing that with 8-10 weeks to go, that the baby is this, what should I say, detailed?)

I just had my 30 week appoinment and all is going well. I'm measuring right on which means if everything goes as it should, our Christmas plans might be foiled by a hospital stay. I was hoping Dr. Watabe would tell me that maybe I would deliver sooner. He didn't. Here are a few interesting facts about "the kid" (still nameless) and mommy at 30 weeks--

BABY

~baby is about 16 inches long and 3 lbs right now

~he can open and close his eyes, distinguish between light and dark, and follow a light source back and forth

~Did you know that when babies are born their vision is only 20/400--which means they can only make out objects right in front of their face. Normal adult vision is 20/20. (Probably a good thing; if they could clearly see what their parents look like right after the birthing process, they might want to go back inside)

MOM can't sleep; is feeling tired, and at times, clumsy (things are a little off balance right now) ~Did you know that thanks to pregnancy hormones, joints are loosend and womens' feet can actually grow a shoe size--permanently! Considering that Ryan fits in some of my shoes already, my joints can't afford to get any looser!

Most Common Fears at this point: 1) I won't be able to handle the pain 2)I will have to have an episiotomy 3)I'll have a BM during labor (for all you men laughing right now, it's a legit fear) 4)I'll go into premature labor 5)I'll be steamrolled into unnecessary medical interventions 6)I'll have to have a c-section 7) I won't make it to the hospital on time

This Friday & Saturday = Deer Widows Weekend

there aren't too many things that justify Ryan missing a BYU home football game--you're looking at one of them

Lamaze Part II

Last night Ryan and I attended our second lamaze class. At the end of the class, Joni, our wonderful teacher, was having the husbands help their pregnant wives learn to relax through a series of massage and breathing techniques. As we were getting in the car to leave, Ryan said "There are couples in there who are so awkard with eachother, like they haven't realized they're married." The husbands looked totally clueless when it came time to touch their wives.

Then he commented about a couple who was completely on the other side of the spectrum...they were very comfortable with eachother, too comfortable for a public place. This particular couple even left class a little early. Ryan was sitting behind me during the exercise so he had a good scope of the room and obviously put his people watching skills to use during the time he was supposed to be helping me get in the zone. (Amazingly, he pulled it off. I didn't even know he wasn't paying attention. However, I should have known--giving me a massage is like auto-pilot for him at this point.)

But what I want to know is, who the heck starts kissing in Lamaze class? And then there was that one girl who just kept laughing. It was throwing me off. The woman next to us could't get the "in 2, out 2" breathing down. She kept asking Joni if she was doing it right. Come on people, if you can't get this down, what are you going to do when it comes time to push an 8 lb baby...I'll stop there!

Yesterday when Ryan and I got home from work, he and Mark went to work on finishing some baseboards and I sat down to watch my DVR recording of the Oprah show. Every Tuesday, Oprah has been showing clips from her roadtrip across America with her friend Gayle. Yesterday they showed their stop at Graceland and their visit with Lisa Marie Presley...which reminded me of something.

We have all been told that we look like someone. I have been told that I look like 2 different people. Some say I look like SJP-that is Ms Sarah Jessica Parker. Others tell me I look like Lisa Marie Presley. On a cruise I took a few years back, the lady checking us through customs honestly asked me if I was the King's daughter. Weird. I am still not sure if I like either comparison, as many have very strong biases for either. It's like blue cheese, you either love the way it tastes, or you hate it. So it goes with these two.

So which is it? I am not sure I really resemble either. Just please don't say I look like Helen Hunt. Thank you in advance.
PS--I decided that sometimes Ryan looks like Tom Hanks from the side.

Mmmm, it's always better when we're together. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7361698636900561933&q=Jack+Johnson+Better+Together&hl=en

DVR has taken over our life.
When we moved into our new home in March we purchased the Dish. Dish offers a sweet little something known as DVR, their version of TiVo for you cable people. So we bought it... and it is taking over our lives. Why? Let me tell you.

Scenario #1. Right in the middle of watching a reality favorite, The Biggest Loser (don't ask, we just find it amusing), there is a knock at the door. It is Sister Smith from the ward. This could be a while, so what do we do? Oh, we just push pause and then when Sister Smith has finsihed her hour visit, we can resume our show and fast forward through all the commercials.

Scenario #2: What happens when The Unit is on at the same time as the results show of Dancing With the Stars? Well, I watch the results show while Ryan mows the lawn, meanwhile recording The Unit, and everyone is happy.

Scenario #3: We have favorites that either come on in the day while we are both at work or in the evenings when we have other plans. No worries, we can record Oprah, Dateline, The Amazing Race, and 60 Minutes every day. If it's something we want to watch, we can do it later, commercial free.

Scenario #4: One of us is inevitably going to have to go to the bathroom during an episode of ER. Not a problem. I'll just push record and then rewind it when he is finished with his business.

And so, DVR is ruining our lives. We've added to our "favorites" list and now that we can watch them whenever we want and commerical free, we're catchin' episodes of ER, Dateline, and Oprah. We're avid fans of The Unit, The Biggest Loser, and The Amazing Race. We're recording football games. I'm going to have to draw the line when Ryan starts recording the food network challenges. Is there group therapy for this sort of thing?

GAG REFLEX

Here's the thing. I have somewhat of a gag reflex. But not for all things gross. I usually don't gag when I see blood, or those medical shows that come on the Discovery channel where they are rebuilding someone's entire face. Granted I might have to turn my head, but I usually don't gag. Bad odors sometimes get me, but it has to be pretty repulsive and pungent (sometimes the Mink farm by our house catches me off gaurd).
There are a few things that will get me everytime though. There is this story Mark tells about a cake. That one for some reason makes me gag everytime. And the one that got me last night, and will usually always get me is the sound of someone else gaging or throwing up. It's a problem. Last night Ryan might have had to belch (not uncommon) after eating a late night snack. Except he sort of, well, in his words "threw up in [my] mouth". I heard it come up and then the more I thought about it, I started gaging. Ryan for some reason thinks it's hillarious when this happens to me. He just sits there a laughs and laughs. He was laughing so hard last night that it brought tears to his eyes. No love. The problem though is that once I start gaging, my mind keeps thinking about the thing that is making me gag, in this case, Ryan throwing up in his mouth. And then I can't stop the gagging. I have to really concentrate, which is difficult with all the cackling going on in the background.

Last night Ryan and I started our Lamaze class. Initially Ryan was not too thrilled, mainly because he found out that it is a 2 1/2 hour class. To my surprise though, he seemed to be enjoying the class as the time went by, mostly because of Joni. Joni is our teacher. She is hillarious. She is middle aged, spunky, and full of wit (not always good for a room full of pregos with full bladders!) We were told to bring two pillows to class. I didn't exactly know what we were going to be doing with the pillows but after learning about all kinds of interesting facts, we got to the "pillow part" of the lecture. Joni told us all to find a spot on the floor and get comfortable -sitting, leaning, laying- whichever we wanted. So Ryan and I claimed our spot on the floor and lay down on our backs beside eachother. Joni dimmed the lights and put on soft music. She was beginning the Relaxation and Breathing part of the class. For the the next 15 to 20 minutes she took us through a series of relaxation and breathing techniques. Everyone in the room seemed to be in a zombie like state, everyone execpt for me that is. I have a cold. The entire time I was trying to hold in my sneezes so as not to disturb everyones' serinity. Do you know how hard it is to relax when you are holding in sneezes? Do you know how hard it is to breathe "in through your nose" when you have a cold? In addition, my snot rag was out of reach and I started dripping. Oh, and I had the biggest air bubble in my abdomen so I couldn't breathe in very deeply and of course, just like at home, the minute I lay down to relax, the kid starts kicking. I looked over at Ryan in my misery and I could have sworn he was dead asleep. He was loving it, that is until I could no longer hold in my sneezes and the comotion began. Yup, I was that lady last night. The one everyone was talking about when they left. The lady who ruined the quiet atmosphere for everyone else. Oh, well. At least I didn't loose control of my bladder. It could always be worse. Until next Wednesday...

On our way home from Rexburg last night, I realized a few things.

First I realized that Ryan handles most of his frustrations well. I don't remember the last time we were in traffic that required you to turn the engine off. At about 9:30 last night, there we were, on I-15 in North Ogden, with nothing but the sound of the Mo Tab CD in the back ground. I think we got through the entire CD sitting there. Most people aren't able to detect when someting is bothering him, but I know his subtle changes in body language or attitude and he likewise knows mine. I am grateful that I know him so well and likewise, he knows me equally well. There's something very comforting in that.

Secondly I realized that my life was truely shaped by the choices I've been making for a long, long time. Opportunites are often times limited because of choices people make. When I look at where I am and who I am, I am grateful for the choices I not only made in my youth, but the choices I continue to make each day. Those choices are continuing to shape my life, and more importantly, will shape the life of my children.
Wouldn't it be great if as 14 year olds, everyone understood this?