Sense of Accomplishment

12 weeks of training down...Only 3 weeks left...

Feels good...feels scary.

Update

Ryan has been recovering at home for the past few weeks. All was going well until last weekend when he got really sick. We thought it was a really bad flu. Turns out he had Addisonion Crisis (aka, Adrenal Crisis). After tapering off the steroids too fast, his adrenal glands pretty much shut down wreaking all sorts of havoc on him. He is back on a steroid and making a slow taper. He is feeling much better. He spends most of his time in his makeshift office...the couch. Is working from home. He hopes to be back to work sometime this week but he still gets pretty fatigued, so we will see.A week after I brought Ryan home from the hospital, our little Luke had to have a little surgery of his own. After earache, after earache, after earache it was obvious this kid was going to need tubes. His appointment was at 7:15 am, so he was already kind of out of it when we got to the hospital, but the minute we took him to the back room and put that gown on him, he knew something very unpleasant was about to take place. It was so cute and so sad to see him in that little hospital gown. It made me grateful that aside from extremely large adenoids and bad drainage issues, our little guy is relatively healthy.Well, the dishwasher was finally fixed. I actually tried to fix it myself as I didn't want to pay some guy to show up and tell me that I had a kink in my hose and that's why the water wouldn't drain. I actually got the water to drain out a couple of times, but every time I would start it up again, the same issue would happen so Ryan called a repair man. $145 later, we learned we had a kink in our hose and a lime in the disposal. The kink just happened to be in the part of the hose that was concealed by the cupboard so you couldn't get to it. Arrrghhh. Oh, well, Max got to put his tools to good use once again.

identity changes and the world we live in

DAD=FRED (because Fred drives the car, and so does Dad)

MOM=DAPHNE (for obvious reasons)


MAX=SHAGGY (the author of our new world)

LUKE=SCOOBY DOO (because Shaggy gets to tell him what to do)



Welcome to our world. On any given day, at any given moment, members of Max's family will be required to answer to and assume the characteristics of their assigned Scooby Doo character. The character assignments never vary, except for Velma's character, who has been assumed by both Grandma and Uncle Jeff.

Max has set the bar really high. He has just about perfected Shaggy's run. I hope he doesn't expect the rest of us to achieve such perfection in our assigned roles. Daphne's hourglass figure is just not attainable I'm afraid. Although, Luke is working really hard on Scooby's bite.

THIS...almost did me in

My husband is mending from surgery. I now know I can handle quite a bit on my own.

I can make big purchases on my own. I can put together furniture from IKEA on my own.

I can run the house, run the kids, do all that stuff on my own. I can handle a lot I've learned.

Yesterday the dishwasher decided it wasn't going to drain water anymore. THIS of all things, has been the thing that has just about pushed me to the edge. So much for trying to do my part to contribute to the GREEN movement. Costco, you will be getting a visit from me tomorrow and I will be leaving with 500 ct. paper goods. Maytag repair man...I hope you are free tomorrow.

H.O.M.E.---No Place Like It

I brought Ryan home on Monday night and I am very happy to report that he is doing very well with his recovery. Once he finally realized that he needs to be taking the pain meds regularly the nausea of course dissipated. He is starting to make amends with his small bowel again, and we are thankful they are getting along just great. He seems to be in greater pain here at home than he was in the hospital, but of course he is now sans the IV, so that is to be expected. He doesn't complain about anything but the awful cough that is an absolute killer on the gut and incision. As long as he continues to listen to Nurse Calli, and minds me when I tell him to get up and walk around, he will be his skippy self in no time, I'm sure.

The boys have been simply thrilled to have their Daddy home and are coming around to the idea that Dad's place will be on the couch for the next few weeks and that he won't be able to pick them up or wrestle for a while. Max was pretty freaked out by the incision and staples and never wants to see it again. He seems content to know that medicine and lots of juice are going to make Dad better. Luke still wants to cuddle up on Dad all the time, so we are making adjustments there, but he is doing well.We've been so blessed by so many of you during this time in our life. We thank all those who have called, visited, emailed, text, babysat, brought meals, and of course for all the prayers and fasting. Sometimes you forget how many great friends and family you have until you need the help and then you are reminded of how wonderful YOUR people are. Our peeps are the greatest.

Operation Completion.

(Sorry...I realize this post is a few days behind and it is a repeat for many of you who have been receiving the emails. Forgive the journal entry.)

Just after surgery...in a lot of pain

Ryan's surgery went very well considering what the surgeon came and told Mark and I following the procedure. I knew Ryan was sick. I knew that he hadn't been feeling real well in sometime. I had no idea just how sick he was, and frankly, neither did anyone else.

Day 1 Post Op: Two thumbs up

It actually went a lot faster than we had anticipated (under 3 hours). The surgeon, Dr. Kim was really awesome. We felt very comfortable having Ryan in his hands. He has us that Ryan is nothing short of a miracle. We've been told several times how lucky we are to have Ryan with us. I guess we are just sort of shocked to hear that because no one knew how really sick he was.

Ryan's Dad and Mark wait for Ryan to come out of surgery

Dr. Kim explained it to us like this. The middle section of Ryan's small intestine was a series of openings the size of a pin holes with huge obstructed balloon sections in between. It was a wadded mess all tangled together, which explains the abnormal hard lump on the right side of Ryan's stomach (which has been there for months). Some of this tissue was dying, definitely diseased, and the reason why the doctors are amazed that he is still here. Dr. Kim said when the pathologist came in and saw his bowel he was taken back, and that guy sees a lot of diseased organs.

Great to have company

Dr. Kim knew he was going to have to see and feel every cm of Ryan's bowel as to know how much and where he could remove without removing too much, so he forewent the scope and just went straight to the knife. He removed 1/3 of his small intestine, the middle third, which was more than he wanted to have to take, but the bowel was so bad that no part of the middle section could be saved. The great news is that the upper third and the lower third are Crohn's free (no active Crohn's) as far as he could see and feel. So for the first time in 10 years Ry won't have to be on the heavy steroids that just really take a toll on his body. You need at least 100cm of small bowel to sustain life and he has double that left and it looks to be healthy for the time being.

Day 2 Post Op: first day of solids in 5 days!

Dr. Kim told us that he performs this surgery all the time and this was the sickest bowel he had ever seen. He also told me that I have an absolute STUD of a husband (which was not news to me) because Ryan has had to be in incredible amounts of pain for a long time with as sick has his bowel was. He was taking Humira shots every other week, and was on two heavy steroids (insanely high doses of each). Dr. Kim said taking the meds was like trying to put out house fire with a squirt gun.The view from Ryan's room

As the docs and nurses tell us "We don't know how Ryan is alive?", we certainly know. We feel very blessed and thankful to our Heavenly Father. Not only has he preserved Ryan's life, but it seems as if he has been spared from what should have been even more pain than he has been experiencing. This has truly been miracle after miracle. We know this is our Father in Heaven's will, and has come about as a result of all of many prayers, fasting, and temple attendance.

Pre-Op

Ryan went in for surgery yesterday. He has Crohn's Disease has been on a number of medications that were no longer working. After another stint in the ER in early February, his gastrointerologist determined there were no more tricks in the medicine cabinet and that he would need surgery to remove the diseased bowel.

Is this gown closed?

Hmm, sure glad I shaved my arms this morning.

Mark interprets all the medical jargon

Getting shaved. "Dude, your job stinks."

All smiles.

This chart says they're doing WHAT to me?

Cute hat... ready to go.

February in a Nutshell

1 ER visit

2 hospital/RT visits (mucous suction from lungs)

4 pediatrician visits

1 meeting with the surgeon

1 trip to the Ear-Nose-Throat doctor

2 scheduled surgeries (one major, one minor)

1 visit to the gastrointerologist

5 antibiotics

6 copays

1 sick family--we're pretty messed up around here.

One year ago today...

We are absolutely smitten with this one. He is so so happy. Even today on his first birthday, he is sick and he still gave today 100%. His positivity is a breath of fresh air. We love him for every little moment he gives us. We love you Luke! Stats and other stuff

Poundage: 23 lb 13 oz.

Language skills: "Uh, oh", "Ma Ma" "Da Da" "No,No,No!"(first word), "Hi"

Non verbals: Gives Kisses, Waves Bye-Bye, folds arms for prayers

Special Talents: Dancing, Singing, Lip-sync, destroying cupboards

Motor Skills: Speedy stair climber, Approaches downstairs with caution (just learned to let himself down on his tummy),

Favorite Past-times: Pat-a-cake, Peek-a-Boo, Eating

Preferences: Mom's bed, Wiggles, Sesame Street, Dad for play time

Disposition: Always happy, except when sick or teething

Nuances: Picking mom's eyes, toilet fascination

spreading the love

generally we don't make too much fluff of valentine's day. we get a little something for eachother as a token of our affection in honor of the holiday, and if we are really lucky, we will try to go on a date, sans the kiddos (which rarely happens since everyone is going out and babysitters are in short supply).

this year we did something totally different, kind of by happenstance. we spent the entire Saturday, and much of the week beforehand making and organizing decorations and chocolate fountain stuff for an Elder's Quorum "Suprise" V-day Dance. some guys in the ward wanted to do it for their wives, and I ended up being the one let in on the suprise so that there would be more than a bowl of chips set out and a few red streamers hanging from the basketball goal. that's what happens when you're married to the EQ president. it was a lot of work but it ended up looking really pretty and those who did show up seemed to really get a thrill out of it

the best part of the night was the 45 minutes that I got to spend dancing with my three guys. not to throw ryan under the bus, but both of his little guys have already surpassed his moves. my little guys can really boogie.

the worst part of the day was the endless clean-up once we got it all back home. but the kids seemed to enjoythe decoration residue on Sunday, although Max was very sad to learn that a "mysterious bird" had entered our house Sunday night and flew away with all those balloons (right to the garbage can). he insisted for three days following that we go find that bird and put him into time-out for taking the balloons.

we enjoyed a nice dinner and i even tried my hand at a few festive treats. the idea was better than the turn-out I think, but it worked out alright. more than anything else, i think we felt exhausted at the end of lover's weekend. next year i think we will order out, get our treats from a bakery, and have our own little dance at home. wow, that sounds nice.

Birthday Preview

Luke's Great Gram sent a little something to him for his upcoming 1st birthday. To answer your question Gram--"What does a 1 year old do with $5?"--well I will show you. They throw it to the side and spend the next hour dancing to the Care Bear Music card that housed the greenback. Thanks, Gram. He, and his brother, love it.

Blessing Kian

Adorable

Two weeks ago we took a roady north for the blessing of my new nephew, Kian James Hassman, who is now about a month 1/2 old. It was a short but very pleasant trip and we were so thrilled to meet and hold that new adorable baby for the first time.

Proud Papa

Ryan was really glad that he was able to go with me, given his stint in the ER just 3 days before. I was really glad too as Ryan was the only guy from our side of the family to be there in the circle, other than Jim of course.

Our little family
Mothers in training

The night before we were to leave I kept telling Max that we were going to go to Uncle Jim's house to meet baby Kian. Max & Luke love their Uncle Jim and since we had Max's 3rd birthday at Jim's house in December that included a ride on Jane, Jim's horse, Max really loves Jim's house. I kept telling him we were going there to meet the baby, not for a birthday party or ScoobyDoo cake or horsey rides.Luke lovin' on Uncle Jim

To reinforce this concept I decided to pull up some pictures of baby Kian on Christine's blog.
Mom: "Max, come look at these pictures of baby Kian."

Max: "Oh, yeah. I like him Mom.

Mom: "You do? We are going to go see that baby at Jim's house. Can you tell me his name?"

Max: "Yep. It's Baby Jesus."

No pressure Kian. My beautiful sister-in-law and her brand new baby boy

The blessing was beautiful and Max was so excited to see the baby. Of course just as the closing prayer was said, Max's nose erupts into a bloody mess all over the place. We finally got it stopped and moved the circus into the lobby and onto Jim's house. I swear...can't anything just ever be easy?

Nice nose bleed buddy

Nana and crew enjoy the post blessing brunch

It was such a nice occasion, wonderful blessing, great company and best of all...

we got to love on this little guy!

It's hard, really hard

In my attmept to make an honest journalist out of myself, can I just say that today I win the award for worst mother ever! I feel like I need to check myself in somewhere. I lost my cool with Max about every 35 seconds or so.

As it turns out, every night I've really been praying to find the right parenting skill set in order to deal with my 3 year old who is hell bent on testing my limits. Today I think I was being given that chance over and over again , and over and over again, I failed. I kept having flashbacks of these power struggles I would engage my mother in, beginning with my exit from the womb and ending with my exit from the house.

I've been wanting to order some vinyl phrases for my home. I think I will start with this one: "God grant me patience to deal with my greatest blessings."

I would like it in wall-size please and it needs to be able to adhere to the ceiling above my bed. Heaven knows this is the first thing I need to see when I pry my eyelids open in the morning.

Womens Winter Wonderland Retreat, Magic Mountain, Idaho

My little sister Carrie invited all the Hassman ladies for a little women's retreat at her in-laws ski resort in Idaho last weekend. It was so much fun. There were about 18 women who came in all and we all stayed overnight at the lodge. We were treated to a yummy dinner and moon-lit snowshoeing (guided by my bro-in-law, Brandon) on Friday night. I have never been snowshoeing and doing it by the light of a full moon was incredibly beautiful. It was awesome. I kept thinking how cool it would be to do that with Ryan sometime. On Saturday we awoke to a delicious breakfast followed by a full day of tubing and snowboarding, with lessons included.

It was so nice of the Ryan's to let Jolea and I get away, sans the kiddos for a weekend, especially since I left on my husband's 33rd birthday! Kelsey was the taxi service and her little red sleigh did pretty good on the icy roads. Despite the missed exit and 40 mile detour, it was a fun road trip for Jolea, Kelsey & I.

I din't think snowboarding would come back to me after like 7 years, but it did. I'm still very much a beginner, which is why I coming down the very steep trail was not such a great idea, however, it was thrilling. Jolea was a champ and she attempted boarding for the first time. A few more times and she won't just be riding the lift, she will be ready to get off and let it go! Kelsey and Carrie are pretty darn good and are just working on tricks now. Oh, to be young. When Jolea and I fall, we felt it throughout our whole body. Those other two are like spring chickens.

It was so much fun to spoil and love on little Addie Jo. We loved just chillin' with Brandon and Carrie. Carrie's in-laws were so gracious to us. It was quite an eye opener to see how much work goes into running that place.

After a full day of snowboarding and falling again and again on our behinds, we thought a trip to the hot springs would be a great idea. I have to say Miracle Hot Springs was not only out in the middle of Nowhere, Idaho, but it was probably the strangest place I think I've ever been. It was like something out of a weird sci-fi movie set in a foreign country.

It was so fun to get away with a few of my sisters, but how I missed my boys. When I came home the little ones were well taken care of, the house was totally cleaned, all the laundry was done, and these flowers were waiting for me. I don't deserve him. I am one lucky girl.