Nestle 5K

On June 5th I hit my second race of the year, the Nestle 5K in Springville. This time I had some fellow family runners. Jolea brought her whole family out this year and it was so much fun. Easton was the only one to win a prize in the drawing. Ironically, he won a cooler that his dad already has! (oh, the luck) This was Ryan's first race post surgery and he did quite well considering. I have the best in-laws; Grandma and Grandpa came down to help push the kids so that Ryan and I could actually really run it.I was hoping to get my best 5K time for this course this year and I did! 23:06, placing 5th in my age group. Kinda proud of that one, especially since they put a killer hill in at about mile 1.5. We had so much fun and can't wait until next year!

Eli Graduates!

8 kids in my family. The youngest just graduated high school. I am the middle child. Oh my...I'm getting old.

We went to Idaho in May for Eli's high school graduation. It was so much fun and I can't put into words how I felt watching him walk across that stage (especially since my kids were actually behaving and I was able to take it all in). Eli is such a special kid. All of his nieces and nephews were so excited to pick him out of the crowd of kids and see him walk up and get his diploma. I don't know if there is a more loved and adored Uncle on this planet. I am just so very proud of him and I know that Eli is going to to great things in his life. He has already touched so many people and I know he will have opportunities to touch so many more. I am grateful for everyone who has loved him and helped him along his way. He certainly hasn't forgotten any of those special people in his life. He is such a special part of our family and we are truely blessed by all those outside our family who have helped to mold and shape his life.

Such posers
Ryan couldn't join us until the weekend, but my boys had such a blast at Nana's.They got to run and play in the wide open spaces, throw rocks into the pond, visit the little farm down her road and see all the animals, and play, play, play with cousins.

Ryan puts on Scooby Doo for the little ones

Okay there was also some fighting, biting, hitting, with cousins involved as well. I don't know when the day will come where there isn't, but everyone made it home in one piece and they all still love eachother. Cole in pretty ponytails (did his Dad see this?)

Max survived having to share Nana's place with Sunny (Carrie's dog and his biggest fear) and even seemed to make some small progress with her. He liked it when Sunny would come up to the glass door and stick her nose to it. We'll take it. Baby steps. It is always a treat when we get to go to Nana's!Jolea and Ry do some patch work
Sarah participates as the one armed Zombie in the Spooky Forest re-inactment

How to Plant an 18 ft tree

Almost a Believer

This almost makes me want to buy a minivan. Thanks Kellie for rollin' this way. You've almost made a believer out of this SUV Momma.

Pretty Days Aren't the Payoff

Sundays are 'pretty days'. It's the only day of the week that guarantees that I will have hair and make-up done and real clothes on...all before noon. Sundays themselves are usually validation enough that I still have it, well, some of it at least. Last Sunday my 3 year old noticed. "Mom, you're beautiful!" he said slowly, almost mesmerized, as I made my descent down the staircase, oddly reminiscent of one's pre-prom promenade. "Flattery is wasted on the young", I noted. To 'Mother of 2', the compliment meant so much more than when what's-his-name muttered something to that effect a decade and some ago on our way to Jr. Prom. 'Husband of 5 years' noted the sentiment, concurred, then responded with a rhetorical "She is beautiful, isn't she?", wisely taking credit for our son's thoughtful observation and narrowly escaping one of those looks from me. I smile and am momentarily grateful that 3 year olds don't have filters.

It's a strange thing, Motherhood. It's a time when you feel like you are totally losing yourself and then you begin to see that you're just finding it. I remember before I became a mother, I would go to work and on any given day I'd be there as a birth mother handed her baby to an adoptive couple to have and raise and love. She would likely only know her own flesh through a series of pictures and letters and if she was one of the lucky ones, a few phone calls on birthdays or the occasional visit. And I would leave those placements seeing the hero in those birth moms, always wondering how they were able to do it but grateful that they were. It wasn't until I had my Max that I realized that those birth moms weren't trying to be heroes. They were just being mothers. Motherhood is love. Heroism is merely a byproduct of such selfless love. Mother love is a verb, something that must be experienced wholly and completely. As a runner, I have observed the phenomena called a marathon, yet I do not know the euphoria of racing it. Only one who is a mother knows what Mother love does to you.
I was told to sleep when they slept. I was told that crying wouldn't kill them. I was told to use time outs. I was told he would do it when he was ready. But no one told me that I would lay awake, watching him sleep, wondering why having clean floors was so much more important than reading that book to him today. No one told me that seeing him hurt and sad would kill me. No one told me that when he no longer needed me there, I would need him there. The first time I held them in my arms I told each of them, "I am your Mommy." I often wonder now, who am I to be their Mommy?
I am standing in my closet upstairs, starring at what must be someone else's wardrobe, wondering who replaced my every fashion sense with this stuff. A plethora of track jackets, hoodies and yoga pants suffocate what now has become 'special occasion' (meaning anywhere I go without the kids) wear. I hear the laughter of two little boys waft through the floor vents and an almost audible thought pierces my mind and heart. "They are given to you to make you better." If we do it right, every generation will perpetuate something better than the one before. My mother says that her greatest joy is seeing her children become better individuals than she was. I hope my sons will be so much more I am. I'll let the floors go next time.
Last Sunday was just one of dozens of times he has noticed something every mother, wife, and woman secretly wishes someone will notice, even though we know that more often than not, it won't be. And that is okay, because what we all know is that they, themselves, are validation enough that what we are doing every single day, over and over again, matters and is a beauty most will never see. Mothering takes place behind walls that never boast. When his first pick is the kid who never gets chosen to be on his team, when he donates his lawn money to help pay for his brother's medical bills, when he opts out of the Friday night party for family Monopoly because he knows that is where he is safest... I will again feel validated because he is my son and I am his Mother and I will know once again that having him has changed me forever.
Because of my boys I can be a patient, self-less, loving, kind, nurturing, strong, healthy, motivated, wise, and knowledgeable woman. What a gift they are. What an opportunity I have.

More than A Moment

We've all felt it. For ourselves, for our spouses, for our country, for our children, for our football team. The moments swell into a palpitating rush and then somehow fade into 'Remember When's'. I watched my 54 year old mother walk across the stage at BYU-Idaho two weeks ago and receive her diploma. That kind of pride you can't forget. A mother's struggle and sacrifice doesn't fade into future recollections. It shows in every laugh line and worry line in her face. A decade of worry, sacrifice, hiatus, achievement, success, failure, commitment and recommitment deserves more than a few handshakes and a stroll across a raised platform. One moment of acknowlegement hardly tells the story of how she obtained it. But we knew. Her 18 grandkids knew. Her professors knew, as manifested in their tears and well wishes. I remember passing her in the hallway 10 years ago at what was then Ricks College. It was the ending of an era for me and just the beginning for her. She was excited; I was exhausted. I remember watching her drop it all when the demands of motherhood outweighed everything else, wondering if she would ever be able to return. I watched her labor to find time, her way, her passion. She struggled. She survived. I suppose she exited the stage with something much more than a certificate of achievement. In her hand she held a monument to 10 years of trying Faith. She exited the stage as someone completely different. She is accomplished. She is confident. She is determined. She is smart. She is capable. She is my mother.

I love you Mom. Way to Endure.

you know he's tired when...

PB&J in hand

the Easter photo

The Easter Bunny made a generous drop of chocolate, jelly beans and this stuff:
Luke: Elmo phone

Max: Super Hero Squad figures, Kung Fu Panda
Mom: Running Visor, Running Skirt, iTunes gift card

Dad: Pink dress shirt, purple tie

However, the best part of sharing Easter with the kids was teaching Max about the Resurrection of our Savior. We were reminded of a special moment we had with Max last year when we pulled out the photo given me by my old boss of the actual tomb where Jesus is believed to have been laid.

Last year we were rearranging the office into what would soon be Luke's new bedroom. Max was rarely ever in that room and we kept this photo on the bookshelf. He was helping us (as far as 2 year olds can help) and he pulled that photo off the bookshelf and said "Dad, Jesus in there." Ryan looked at me and said "Did you teach him that?" I replied that I had not. We were just stunned. We later learned that in his nursery class they had been speaking of the resurrection. We were so touched, and still quite shocked that he could make the connection between coloring pages from nursery and a real life photo of the tomb.

This year I brought the photo down in March and kept it out for a month as we tried to teach Max more about the Resurrection (a very abstract concept for a 3 year old). From the first moment he saw the photo he again exclaimed "Mom, Jesus is in there!" After several talks, a video, and Family Night, he now tells us that "Jesus went in there with his 'owiees'" and that "He is alive."
Dying the eggs was great fun, the egg hunt was exciting, and finding the boys new church clothes for Easter is always joyful. But nothing compared to getting to teach our son about the Savior's love and sacrifice for us. And then to top it all off, we were able to spend the weekend watching Conference and feeling inspired to be better parents to our kids.

MadGab & Forest

You know that game MadGab. Max did one of his own.

Me: Max, it's time for your bath.

Max: But it's not dark yet.

Me: Yeah, but we take a bath before it gets dark.

Max: A Forest Mommy?

Me: What?

Max: A Forest is dark?

Pause...my brain can't follow this 3 year old.

"Beforeitgets Dark". BeFOREST dark.

Well, now that makes perfect sense. Somtimes I talk in Texas slur. Justified.

The FARM

Max was so excited to go to the Hogan's Farm in Stockton last week... I have to say he was more excited about seeing the animals and the tractors than he was about the egg hunt. He loved the trailor ride and seeing the huge assortment of cattle, including the new baby calves. He was particularly interested in the fact that they leave their "potty" on the ground. Every year he catches on a little more to what the egg hunt is all about. Luke was content just being passed around the family.

Shaggy Snubbed

Shaggy (Max's alter ego character) was snubbed temporarily thanks to an invite to Sammy's Super Hero Birthday Party. Aunt Jolea of course had a BatMan costume and for a brief 5 days, we were relieved of the land of Scooby Doo and enjoyed the world of Super Heroes.Max loved the party. Due to inclement whether, the party was postponed. BatMan had to wait for many 'tomorrows' but the big day finally arrived.He loved meeting up with Spiderman (aka, Sammy, the Bday boy) and was especially pleased with the giant Spidey bounce house.I was especially pleased with the Seminario's creative costumes, like Miranda Seminario, as "Super CTR Girl".Max has asked me at least 5 times when we are going back to Sammy's house. I don't blame him. Who wouldn't want to be around this bunch?

Sense of Accomplishment

12 weeks of training down...Only 3 weeks left...

Feels good...feels scary.

Update

Ryan has been recovering at home for the past few weeks. All was going well until last weekend when he got really sick. We thought it was a really bad flu. Turns out he had Addisonion Crisis (aka, Adrenal Crisis). After tapering off the steroids too fast, his adrenal glands pretty much shut down wreaking all sorts of havoc on him. He is back on a steroid and making a slow taper. He is feeling much better. He spends most of his time in his makeshift office...the couch. Is working from home. He hopes to be back to work sometime this week but he still gets pretty fatigued, so we will see.A week after I brought Ryan home from the hospital, our little Luke had to have a little surgery of his own. After earache, after earache, after earache it was obvious this kid was going to need tubes. His appointment was at 7:15 am, so he was already kind of out of it when we got to the hospital, but the minute we took him to the back room and put that gown on him, he knew something very unpleasant was about to take place. It was so cute and so sad to see him in that little hospital gown. It made me grateful that aside from extremely large adenoids and bad drainage issues, our little guy is relatively healthy.Well, the dishwasher was finally fixed. I actually tried to fix it myself as I didn't want to pay some guy to show up and tell me that I had a kink in my hose and that's why the water wouldn't drain. I actually got the water to drain out a couple of times, but every time I would start it up again, the same issue would happen so Ryan called a repair man. $145 later, we learned we had a kink in our hose and a lime in the disposal. The kink just happened to be in the part of the hose that was concealed by the cupboard so you couldn't get to it. Arrrghhh. Oh, well, Max got to put his tools to good use once again.

identity changes and the world we live in

DAD=FRED (because Fred drives the car, and so does Dad)

MOM=DAPHNE (for obvious reasons)


MAX=SHAGGY (the author of our new world)

LUKE=SCOOBY DOO (because Shaggy gets to tell him what to do)



Welcome to our world. On any given day, at any given moment, members of Max's family will be required to answer to and assume the characteristics of their assigned Scooby Doo character. The character assignments never vary, except for Velma's character, who has been assumed by both Grandma and Uncle Jeff.

Max has set the bar really high. He has just about perfected Shaggy's run. I hope he doesn't expect the rest of us to achieve such perfection in our assigned roles. Daphne's hourglass figure is just not attainable I'm afraid. Although, Luke is working really hard on Scooby's bite.