Run. then Run harder.

I have always wanted to do a 1/2 marathon. Well, maybe not always, but certainly since marrying into a crazed running family. Twice I've trained for a 1/2 marathon and twice I've gotten pregnant, thinking I would be able to continue training. Twice I was wrong. But not this year. Last winter, I decided that starting in January, I would begin a serious training program. I was already running several times a week and was up to 5 or 6 miles, so it was a great time to start adding miles gradually, so I signed up for the Salt Lake City Half Marathon held mid-April. Training in the cold and windy winter and early spring months wasn't ideal and there were many days I didn't want to run, and there were some days that I didn't run. But more often than not, I laced up my runners and with the support of my husband, I just bit the bullet and went out and did it. Everyone says you run your first race just to finish, but I couldn't be satisfied with that. I'm too competitive. It must come from all those years of running cross-country and track. So I set a goal. First it was finish in under 2 hours. Then it was to finish in 1:51:00. With my husband, children, Mom, and sisters waiting for me at the finish line I came in at 1:50:07! I was proud of my training. I never hit the wall. I was proud of my determination. It got me up that killer State Street hill at the very end of the race. I was proud of my 8:24 minute splits. I had done it. But what meant the most to me was seeing my husband, my boys, my Mom, my sisters, Cory, Jolea, Kelsey & Carrie all there cheering me on at the end. They believed in me and were there to support me in my first big race since high school. My Mom said that watching it all brought back so many memories of coming to endless cross country meets and track meets. It was so nice to see her there at the finish, just as she had been so many times before.

Determined not to let all that training go to waste, I had no choice but to sign up for another 1/2 marathon. August 7th, 2010. Provo River 1/2 Marathon. It had been the race I had trained for twice before, and had to back out of both times. It was the first 1/2 Marathon I had ever observed. It Ryan's first 1/2 marathon. I was determined. So I kept training. Then summer came and so did family trips and outings and hot, hot weather. The whole month of July was pretty much spent between Utah and Idaho and I was lucky to get in 2 runs a week. I was looking for a way out. I didn't want to run. More than that, I didn't want the disappointment of not performing well. At the encouragement of my husband and my brothers-in-law, I decided to just do it. So Jeff and I loaded the bus at 5:00 am and we were on our way up the canyon. I decided to run as hard as I could for as long as I could. Surprisingly, it was working and I was holding a sub-8 min mile pace until I stopped for a drink at mile 10. Then my legs decided they had had enough and I literally felt like I couldn't get them going. I now knew what "hitting the wall" meant. It becomes all mental at that point because physically it's over. 3.1 miles became a game of one foot in front of the other, walk some run some. I was regretting not having kept my training up in the last month. I was paying for it. I even contemplated just walking those last 3 miles. But again perseverance prevailed and somehow I got my legs to trot it out. Again, there was my husband and my boys waiting for me. This time I felt drained and like I wanted to lay down and die. Then I looked at my watch...1:46:51! I had shaved almost 4 minutes off my time. I was ecstatic...then mad, realizing what I could have done had I not hit the wall at mile 10. But it was again, a great feeling of accomplishment.

I was glad that I did it all, but glad that it was over. My desire to keep training for the next race had diminished. I was ready to run for the fun of it again. Not to be tied to a training schedule for the first time in 9 months. I was ready to just go for a run...didn't matter how far or how fast. I will race again, but for now, I just want to run to feel good.